Big & Tall
by sinovenator
Summary: Collection of mostly very NSFW Denoch (Dedan/Enoch) one-shots I originally wrote for Tumblr. Note the content warnings on some of them.
1. 1

Back in Zone 1, Dedan was used to being the biggest, toughest thing around. No complaints there. If anything, he _reveled_ in the way he towered over his timid underlings, the way they cringed when he bellowed abuse at them. As an added bonus, people generally didn't fuck with you when they knew you could rip them in half like a piece of wet tissue paper.

So why the hell were his feelings doing a complete 180 now?

_Stupid fatass,_ he thought, shifting impatiently in his seat as he waited for said stupid fatass to finish advising the Elsen who'd come in with a status report from Zone 3's sugar refinery. It wasn't just that this little meeting was taking forever, oh no. Simple boredom couldn't account for the hot prickling he felt deep in his belly when he watched Enoch interact with his own tiny workers.

Enoch didn't raise his voice with his Elsens. Ever. He didn't _need_ to. His natural tone, a rumble that managed to sound both calm and so deep it was nearly bone-rattling, reminded Dedan of distant thunder, as if the guardian himself were a force of nature no one with a functioning brain would dare provoke. Enoch was immense, powerful, terrifying without even trying, and fuck if it didn't turn Dedan on more than anything else ever had.

No, it didn't make sense, but try telling that to his stupid dick. Every time, _every fucking time_ he had to come to Zone 3 on some errand or diplomatic visit and wound up stuck in a room with Enoch, his body seemed to tell him, "Whoops, looks like it's pop-a-massive-boner o'clock. Good luck hiding it, asshole!"

"Are you all right?" Enoch asked pleasantly, and a brief silence passed before Dedan realized the question had been directed at _him_.

_Shit._ He crossed his legs, feeling his self-consciousness rocket to nigh-unbearable heights, and forced himself to meet the other guardian's eyes. "Uh… kinda need to take a piss's all."

"You can excuse yourself, you know," said Enoch with a chuckle. "This isn't kindergarten."

"I can hold it," Dedan grumbled, trying not to squirm under that amused gaze.

"Don't worry, sir. We were just about to wrap things up anyway," said the Elsen, giving him a friendly pat on the arm. Irritated at being made to look like an idiot in front of the little worker, Dedan snapped at his hand, which he jerked back with a squeak.

"Now, now. There was no call for that, Dedan. None whatsoever."

Naturally Enoch's voice hadn't risen so much as a hair, but something in the rhythm of his speech sent ice shooting up Dedan's spine. S_hiiit._

As if sensing the tension between them, the Elsen hastily gathered up the papers he'd spread over Enoch's desk and clutched them to his chest, not bothering to organize them. "A-Actually, I think we're done here. See you next week, Director, sir?"

Dedan watched, mesmerized, as Enoch reached down and carefully pet his tiny worker on the head. "Of course, dear. And take an extra ration of sugar on your way out for your _trouble_." He practically purred the word, and despite himself Dedan felt a delightful shiver course through him. _Seriously, body? What the everloving shit is _wrong_ with me?!_

The Elsen beamed up at his boss. "Thank you, sir." He left, closing the door behind him.

Enoch turned to Dedan with a grin that would've left a lesser man in need of a change of underwear. "I know you've been antsy for a while now, Dedan, but that's no reason to go taking it out on my Elsens."

"Little worm should've known better," Dedan growled, struggling to keep his voice even. He wanted nothing more than to hightail it to the nearest crapper and whack off—the whole "wallowing in shame" part would come later—but he wasn't about to uncover his crotch in front of Enoch. Best to play it casual until the lardass left the room. "Back in Alma I train my Elsens right," he went on. "Don't allow any of that cozyin' up nonsense."

Enoch _tsk-tsk_ed. "Keep up the attitude and you'll just have to take care of your little problem on your own."

"I—_what_?" Dedan stiffened, instinctively crossing his legs more tightly. "The fuck're you—"

Enoch cut him off with a laugh that did nothing to ease the discomfort either in his mind or, to his infinite humiliation, in his pants. "Please. You're about as subtle as an inebriated Von Gacy pole dancing on a crowded street corner."

Well, when he put it _that_ way… "…It… It's got nothin' to do with you," he said at last, hating how weak he sounded.

"Mm. And I suppose it's just a coincidence that you get this way practically every time we're in the same vicinity?"

Dedan's heart skipped a few beats. "You… this _whole time_…?" He stared at the floor, cheeks burning. "This is some _bullshit_."

"I confess I was curious as to whether you'd be the one to make the first move." Dedan could practically hear the other guardian's mischievous smirk. "Ah well, I'll just have to make it up to you, won't I."

Still refusing to look up, Dedan started to say something along the lines of "Yeah, you better, you fuckin' tease," but trailed off with an embarrassingly loud whine when an index finger as long as his torso nudged his lap.

Ah yes, the size shifting. In the blink of an eye Enoch could go from "eh, I've seen bigger" to "HOLY shit I should not have said that and now I'm dead". Good thing this was a huge-ass office.

Another nudge coaxed Dedan into spreading his legs, and he leaned back in his chair, squeezing his eyes shut. _I will _not_ moan. I will _not_ moan. Dedan does _not_ moan, goddammit, _he admonished himself.

His resolve promptly shattered when the pad of the enormous fingertip pressed against his groin and slowly, almost gently began to rub him through his pants. _"Fuuuuck."_

"Like it? I've been practicing on my workers for quite some time now. Elsens have needs too, you know."

Dedan sucked in a shaky breath at the mental image. "Pick me up," he said, hoping it sounded more like a command than a plea.

Without missing a beat, Enoch scooped him out of the chair and lifted him in one cupped hand. "So it _is_ the size difference," the big guardian said smugly. "Another suspicion confirmed."

Dedan looked away, scowling. Thank God his skin was too dark for his blush to be very noticeable. "Yeah, yeah," he snapped, "just hurry up and get me off, bitchtits."

"With pleasure." The delicious pressure returned with a vengeance, and it was all Dedan could do not to beg Enoch to press down harder. He bit down on one hand in a pitiful attempt to muffle all the high-pitched little noises that had no business coming from _him_ of all people.

"I wonder what the Elsens of Alma would think of their big bad boss if they could see you now," said Enoch nonchalantly as Dedan trembled beneath his touch. "For all your tough talk, you certainly seem to enjoy being on your back with your legs spread."

Dedan wanted to tell him to shut up, but he didn't trust his voice not to crack. Desperation swelling by the second, he wrapped his legs around Enoch's fingertip and began to grind against it.

"Reduced to dry humping a guy's finger," Enoch murmured, shaking his head with mock pity. "But then, you love it, don't you? Being tiny and pathetic and at my mercy. You'd make a fine Elsen."

"I-I—oh _fuck yes_," Dedan whimpered, and held on for dear life as his climax ripped through him.

"Good boy," Enoch told him softly, rubbing him through his orgasm. "You've been all pent up, poor thing."

When he was fully spent, Dedan let himself go limp, shuddering at the pleasant warmth of afterglow in his belly. "Tell anyone and you're dead," he panted.

Enoch had the good grace to set him down carefully instead of just dumping him on the floor. "Your secret's safe with me," he said good-naturedly.

"You realize this is gonna become a regular thing, right?"

Enoch chuckled. "I figured."

Dedan smoothed out his rumpled pants. "Then I hope for your sake you're kinky as fuck."

It was Enoch's turn to blush as he watched Dedan waltz out of the room to get himself cleaned up.


	2. 2

"You want to do _what_?"

"You heard me, thunder thighs. Whip it out!"

"Now, hold on just one minute. How exactly are you planning on sucking me off? You have no _lips_."

Dedan was already scrambling up Enoch's pant leg. "Don't be a smartass, darlin'," he replied. "It's a figure of speech." Enoch started to protest again, but the smaller guardian's scowl brooked no further argument. Though he didn't much care for the idea of having those monstrous teeth anywhere near his dick, he supposed he did owe Dedan at least this one chance to call the shots.

"Be careful, mind," Enoch told him. "I don't fancy the thought of having to rush to the hospital and explain to my surgeon Elsens how I wound up with a bleeding stump." He sat on the floor of his office and leaned back against the wall; he was much too large for his desk chair at the moment, but that was just the way Dedan liked him, as much as it pained the smaller guardian to admit it. Enoch couldn't help wincing as Dedan lunged at his lower body with parted jaws, but he merely caught Enoch's zipper in his teeth and let himself drop to the ground, using his weight to undo the massive guardian's fly.

"I could have done that for you," Enoch pointed out with an amused little huff.

"Shut it, you!" Dedan had clambered back up and was now gnawing off Enoch's pants button as if he were the world's ugliest rat. The thread gave way with a sharp _snap_, and Enoch's fly fell fully open. Without further ado, he tugged open the waistband of Enoch's underwear and dove in.

"Honestly, Dedan, that was about as unnecessary as it gets. These are some of my best pants, and I only have so many—_ooh_."

That could only be Dedan's tongue, damp and feather-light on the underside of his cock. He hooked a thumb under his waistband and peered down his undies at the toothy guardian. It occurred to Enoch that he'd never actually _seen_ Dedan's tongue before now; as it turned out, it was scarlet, shockingly long and deliciously warm as it slicked up his fat cockhead.

"Dun' fuckin' watch me, idiot," Dedan slurred around his dripping tongue, glowering up at Enoch.

The giant grinned back. "Don't try to sound tough while you're servicing a dick bigger than you are."

Dedan nearly choked on his own saliva with indignation. "How fitting," he grouched between sloppy licks, "a massive dick attached to a massive dick."

Enoch just snickered. He stretched luxuriously and lay back with his arms folded behind his head, leaving Dedan to his work. The guy's blowjob wasn't half bad, all things considered. Enoch was used to receiving sexual favors from Elsens in exchange for extra sugar rations, but the little creatures were just so _hesitant_, and you couldn't exactly pressure them into picking up the pace. Seeing Dedan slaving away at his dick, on the other hand, you'd think this was some kind of race. It was rather cute, really, the way he'd jumped at the opportunity to feel like he had some semblance of power over Enoch, even if it was just the power to make him—

"_Nn." _Speak of the devil. He snaked his hand down his underwear and gripped his erection, pinning Dedan between his swollen cockhead and the fabric as he finished himself off. With a final grunt, he let his thick load flood over the smaller guardian.

"The fuck was _that_?" Dedan squawked as Enoch lifted him out of his pants. He spat out a glob of semen and went on, "I didn't sign up for a _facial_, sugartits. You owe me bigtime."

Enoch pinched the waist of Dedan's own cum-soaked pants between his spare thumb and forefinger, yanked them down, and gave the sticky body one long, slow lick. He smirked at the other guardian's pleased little gasp. "Fair enough?"

Dedan swallowed hard, legs trembling with anticipation. "F… Fair enough." 


	3. 3

**_((Warning for both hard and soft vore))_**

* * *

"Ah, _shhhit_…"

One hand thrust down his unzipped fly, Dedan stroked himself furiously, grinding his teeth with impatience as he teetered on the edge of release. Even when he did manage to get himself off, he knew he wouldn't be satisfied; not really. Unfortunately, though, there weren't many alternatives to masturbation when your only fuck buddy lived two zones away and you had no legitimate excuse for swinging by. Once or twice he'd considered calling an Elsen up to his office to suck him off, but he knew he would just end up screaming at them for doing a shitty job, and the stupid little creatures were so fragile that he'd most likely have a new Burnt on his hands—as if there weren't enough of the damn things around to begin with.

At least the Burnt epidemic wasn't as pronounced here in Shachihata, where the Elsens weren't forced to endure his violent temper nearly as often as those poor saps in Alma. In fact, it was for this very reason that Dedan found himself spending more and more time at his Shachihata office; fewer Burnts meant fewer intrusions by terrified workers begging for him to save them from the tainted creatures and, by extension, more time to wallow alone in his increasingly maddening sexual frustration. God, he still couldn't believe it would be _weeks_ before Enoch arrived on one of the zone guardians' traditional diplomatic visits. He knew the big guardian must be regretting the wait too, but Enoch had issues of his own to handle in Zone 3, and it wasn't like him to drop everything for the sake of getting laid.

"Come on, come _on_, goddammit," he growled through clenched teeth as he cupped slender fingertips over his dripping dickhead and squeezed himself ever so lightly. His cock rewarded this fresh effort with a strong twitch that sent a lovely tingle arcing up his spine, and he flung back his head with a hiss of delight. Spreading his legs till his inner thighs ached, he teased himself with more gentle squeezes. He was grunting desperately, inches from blowing his load, when a panicked-looking Elsen burst in.

"Sir, there's a—"

Before the worker could finish, Dedan grabbed his heavy desk copy of _Elemental Production: A Year in Review_ and chucked it in the Elsen's general direction. _"Fuck off!"_

The Elsen stumbled back with a yelp as the book thudded to the floor near his feet, and he darted out of the room, leaving the door wide open. "Whatever it is, I'll deal with it later," Dedan roared after him. "Until then, keep the _fuck_ out. And tell everyone while you're at it!"

Grumbling to himself, he stomped over and slammed the door shut. He wondered, not for the first time, whether Elsens were more trouble than they were worth. In any case, it looked as if he would be spending a few more minutes alone with his hand and his embarrassing fantasies, no thanks to that insolent moron. Why couldn't those little shits solve their problems on their own for once?

As he was returning to his desk, a noisy tapping from outside made him glance back over his shoulder. A huge, grinning face filled the window. Dedan jumped three feet in the air, then felt his pulse slow as he recognized the colossal creature.

"Holy _fuck_nuggets! Give me a heart attack, why don'tcha?!" he hollered, keeping his back turned to Enoch just long enough to stuff himself in his pants. He dashed up to the window and yanked open the lowermost panes. "Whaddaya want?" he snapped. "You weren't supposed to be here for another three weeks!"

"You don't sound very happy to see me." With an outstretched finger, Enoch gave Dedan's chest a hearty nudge that nearly sent him toppling onto his back.

Dedan snorted and shoved the other guardian away. "I hope you haven't been stepping on my Elsens. Wait, scratch that—step on _all_ of 'em. You'll be doing me a favor." He frowned. "Hey, you're not the thing they're losing their shit over today, are ya?"

"Me?" Enoch's eyes widened innocently. "Of course not. Your Elsens _like_ me. There was a particularly nasty Burnt running amok near the train station. Ah, no worries, though—when I arrived and saw your little friends in trouble, I took care of things myself."

"Oh. Thanks, I guess," Dedan muttered. He wasn't about to tell Enoch why _he_ hadn't dealt with the Burnt.

Even as the thought crossed his mind, he felt his wilting hard-on give a halfhearted twitch. He pressed up against the wall, hoping Enoch wouldn't notice his aching dilemma and deduce what he'd just been up to. For Dedan, it was mortifying enough just knowing he was a bottom; he didn't want to look completely desperate to boot. "Anyway," he said, "you never answered my question. Why're you so early?"

"I had to reschedule, that's all. Long story; I won't bore you with the details." Enoch leaned in closer. "Besides," he added with an exaggerated wink, "we've got more _interesting_ things to discuss."

Dedan couldn't help but cackle. "Is that all you ever think about?"

"Ha! You're one to talk, little man. I'm not blind, you know." Enoch raised an eyebrow pointedly at the spot where Dedan's lower body would be if he could see through the wall.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," huffed the smaller guardian, feeling his cheeks heat up. "Well, as long as you're standin' there…"

The distressed Elsen from earlier staggered in just as Dedan dropped his pants. The guardian's hands darted to shield his bare junk from view as he screeched, "What did I _tell_ you? Can't you idiots remember one simple order?!"

But the Elsen took no notice of him. His eyes, round and bright with terror, were fixed on Enoch.

"You," he croaked, a ribbon of black smoke curling from his gaping mouth.

And he burned.

Dedan flinched in surprise; he didn't think he'd seen it happen so quickly before. "What was _his_ problem? I thought you said you'd taken care of the Burnt."

"I did." Enoch reached over Dedan's head and took the newborn Burnt carefully in his hand. As if it remembered its old Elsen form's fear of the giant guardian, the beast let out an eerie wail and struggled in Enoch's grip.

Holding the Burnt up to his face, Enoch shushed it and gently stroked what remained of its cheek as if trying to soothe a crying child. _He sure goes about it a lot nicer than I do, _Dedan observed.

Then, in a flash, Enoch bit its head off.

That hideous _crunch_ of vertebrae was instantly blazed into Dedan's memory, and he stumbled back several paces, heart breaking into a gallop. A chill shot through his veins as he watched the immense guardian casually toss the headless body into his mouth and gulp it down whole. _The poor bastard must've seen him do this to the other Burnt! _he realized suddenly. _Christ,_ _is that what he was trying to tell me all along?_

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Enoch asked calmly. "You know as well as I do that there's no helping them once they're burnt." Dedan cringed when the other guardian lifted a hand again, but he just scratched his vast gut idly. "Wouldn't you rather I put them out of their misery as painlessly as possible?"

Dedan felt his tense shoulders relax somewhat. "Well, yeah, but… did you really have to… y'know…"

"Eat him?" Enoch shrugged. "I see no sense in letting a perfectly good body go to waste."

Dedan nodded once, humoring him. "Look," he said, pulling up his pants, "I, uh, got stuff to do in Alma. Let's pick up where we left off some other time."

"Oh." Enoch looked crestfallen. "Let's do that." As he watched Dedan go, he added mildly, "I'm here all week."

* * *

Dedan was lost in thought as he lay in bed that night.

The more he considered them, the more logical Enoch's earlier assertions seemed. Why shouldn't he chomp off a Burnt's head if that was the quickest, most merciful way he knew how to kill it? And as for the whole eating thing… well, it was certainly true that Dedan had no use for Burnt bodies; he usually just dumped them in the plastic.

Guilt pricked him as he remembered how dejected the other guardian had looked when Dedan pulled out that not-so-subtle excuse to get the hell away from him.

_What a dumbass,_ he berated himself, pulling the bedsheets up over his broad shoulders. _He could've eaten you a hundred times over by now if he really wanted to. Way to make him feel like shit for no reason. _

But after a time, an idea came to him. A way to make it up to the big oaf.

He smirked lazily and let himself drift off.

* * *

The sun's first rays were beginning to glow over Alma's horizon as Dedan showed up bright and early to his office in a considerably better mood than the day before. He was putting a dent in a stack of paperwork when a familiar, heavy knock sounded at his office door.

"It's unlocked," he called out. _Not that it's ever locked._

The door opened just a crack. "It's me," came a hesitant voice.

"Gee, thanks for the info, otherwise I might never have guessed," Dedan replied, but his tone was light.

"Ah. Look, about yesterday—"

"Fuck yesterday and get that ample ass in here."

Enoch opened the door wider, looking cheered by Dedan's invitation. "So you're okay with it?"

"Whatever, man. It gets the job done, right?" He narrowed his eyes mischievously. "By the way, I hope you're still hungry."

"Er… why's that?"

"Hmph." Grinning, Dedan stood and began to unbutton his coat. "Size up, big boy."

The other guardian's eyebrows shot up. "I—you're sure?"

"No, I'm stripping because sometimes I just like to run off in the middle of a conversation and go streaking. Whaddaya think, dingus?"

A smile lit up Enoch's face, and in the space of time it took Dedan to blink, the big guardian put on a few thousand pounds.

Dedan started at the sudden change. "_Ho_ly—I will _never_ understand how you do that." Hastily he tossed his coat over his shoulder and went to town on his pants, which were already beginning to feel a bit tight.

Enoch laughed. "Easy. Eat nothing but sugar."

"You know what I mean, you ass!" The smaller guardian practically tripped out of his pants. Completely bare now save for his boots, he leaped at Enoch.

Catching him deftly, Enoch raised him up to his face. "My, my. Aren't _we_ eager?"

"Jesus, you don't know the half of it. Open up."

Enoch looked at his friend as if he might have misheard him.

"Well, don't just sit there with that dumb look on your face! Do you not understand? _I want. You to stick. Me in. Your mouth._"

"Uh… wow. You're really okay with that?!"

"I don't talk for the pleasure of hearing my own voice, ya know!" Dedan scoffed. "Just don't swallow me by accident and I'll be golden, all right?"

Enoch blinked. "All right."

"By the way," Dedan added slyly as he pried open Enoch's lower jaw, "I'll be pissed if you don't get off to this too."

Reclining, the other guardian huffed his assent, then slid his wide tongue under Dedan and cautiously drew him in.

His first thought was that, despite the dampness, the inside of Enoch's cavernous mouth wasn't nearly as nasty or humid as he'd expected. He glanced back and saw that the giant guardian had kept his teeth slightly parted as if to ensure a constant supply of fresh air for his little not-quite-snack. _How considerate,_ Dedan remarked silently.

Feeling a rush of affection for the big guy, he pressed himself to the tongue beneath him, taking in a sharp breath at the warmth. His cock fit the midline ridge perfectly, and he drove his hips against Enoch's tongue, digging his fingers into its slippery sides for purchase.

A low rumble welled up from Enoch's throat, and Dedan guessed the other guardian was feeling it too. Gleefully he fucked the tongue with all his strength, the silky heat on his cock so excellent he doubted he'd last much longer.

Minutes later, another, more strangled noise rasped from the throat before him, and Dedan was pushed upward against the creases of Enoch's palate. The abrupt spike in pressure did him in almost at once. Shuddering forcefully, he whined in exultation and let his cum course over his friend's tongue in thick spurts.

Enoch must have tasted it, because he stuck out his tongue and plucked up an unresistant Dedan, transferring him to his spacious, comfy belly. Curling up into a more comfortable position, Dedan looked up and noted smugly that the big guardian looked as sated as Dedan himself felt.

"I take it you enjoyed that?" the smaller guardian inquired.

Enoch held up his right hand, which was messy with his own release. "Does this answer your question?"

"Y'know, you really oughtta eat people more often. Namely me. It ain't so bad once you get used to it."

Enoch swiped his tongue over his lips, grinning languidly. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."


	4. 4

_**((Warning for soft vore and non-graphic descriptions of puking))**_

* * *

Dedan paced restlessly between his desk and the door to his office. "Where _is_ that fat lard?" he groused. "Said he'd be here in time for coffee, but nope, guess he's gonna waltz in late like he owns the place! The _nerve_ of that guy!" With a growl he kicked over a trash can, noisily scattering its contents across the floor tiles.

Inspection time had rolled around again in Zone 1, and since Zone 3 was in the midst of an economic boom thanks to a recent overhaul on the sugar refining process, Enoch had offered to help Dedan check up on the production of the other four elements. Reluctant as he was to admit it to himself, Dedan had been hoping for some quality time with the big guardian this morning before the two of them went their separate ways.

Still griping under his breath, he stopped by his desk for a swig of cooling coffee. He'd lifted the drink halfway to his teeth when he noticed a little white lump floating in it. "The hell?" he mumbled, squinting at the thing.

"Don't mind me, I'm just a marshmallow," it said brightly.

Yelping, Dedan slammed the mug back down so hard it was a wonder it didn't shatter.

"Just drink your coffee, Dedan," said Enoch, smiling up at the other guardian as he floated on his back in the pungent, lukewarm liquid.

"Uh, _why_ are you small? Why are you in my _drink_?"

Suppressing a snicker, Enoch raised a finger to his lips. "Shhh. I can't talk, I'm a marshmallow."

"Wh—that is such _bull_shit! The hell are you playing at?!" Dedan plucked the other guardian from his drink and plopped him on the desk.

"Ohp! Five-second rule!" As Enoch scuttled up his coat sleeve, Dedan briefly wondered if none of this was really happening and he was tripping balls.

Fed up, he snatched the tiny guardian in his fist and snarled, "First of all, you only use the five-second rule when food touches the floor, stupid. Now quit fuckin' around or so help me you're gonna be _my_ food!"

"Oh? Is that an offer?" Enoch replied with a wink.

"I—" Dedan stared at him. "—_What_?"

"You remember the time I swallowed you by accident, surely?"

"Only too well," Dedan grumbled, wincing at the memory. For a while there he'd been worried the stench of puke would never wash off. "What's your point?"

"We-ell, I figured that I might as well use this opportunity to make it up to you. Eat me."

"Uh… oh," Dedan said lamely. _Only you could manage to sound so damn smug asking for something like that!_ "It's fine. Really. Besides, I hate to break it to ya, but getting eaten tends to kill people."

"Pfff, I'm not worried about _that_. Even at this size I'm nigh on invulnerable."

"Okay, but how do you plan on getting back out? And before you say it, I'm not about to lose last night's beef lasagna all over the employee toilets. Shit's expensive."

"You won't have to do anything unpleasant," promised Enoch, reassuringly patting the slim fingers curled around him. "Just trust me. I trust _you_."

Something in his tone sent a tiny thrill prickling up Dedan's spine, and the tall guardian shifted awkwardly. "As long as you're completely positive you know what you're doing," he said at last. "But make it quick!"

Grinning, Enoch opened his mouth wide and mimed popping something down his throat. After another moment's hesitation, Dedan flicked out his long red tongue, ensnared Enoch and downed him with a thick, wet _gulp_.

It was like swallowing any other small chunk of food. He supposed he should've expected that, but it still weirded him out, and he had a brief, horrible moment of fear that he'd just sent his best friend to his death. He shook his head briskly, trying to dispel his worries. If it came to it, he reminded himself, he could always make a run for the restroom.

Sighing, he sat at the edge of his desk and tried to relax. What else were you supposed to do with yourself while your shrunken fuck buddy had a look around your upper digestive tract?

_Ah, the age-old question, _he thought dryly.

Christ, it gave him the willies not feeling any different with Enoch inside him like this. He unbuttoned his coat and shrugged it off. It was stupid, he knew, but this eased his anxiety a bit, as if the view of his bare torso might somehow make it easier to save his friend if anything went wrong.

Cautiously he touched the approximate location of his stomach. His taut, scar-crisscrossed abdomen revealed no hint whatsoever of his latest "meal": Enoch may as well have been digested after all, his molecules dispersed, made a permanent part of Dedan's body. …

He was suddenly, acutely aware of an itching between his legs, and even before looking he knew what he'd find there._ Are you _shitting_ me? Here? Now?!_

As if in reply, his dick gave an insistent twitch against the fabric of his pants, and his breath hitched; clearly going commando was not working in his favor today. More to the point, what kind of sick fuck got off to the idea of digesting their best friend?

_Enoch,_ his mind offered, and given some of the kinky shit they'd done together—one instance of which had led to the whole accidental-swallowing fiasco—the idea didn't seem too far-fetched. Surely the other guardian couldn't fault him for feeling the same now that the tables were turned. Could he?

"Oh, what the fuck ever, I'm going to hell anyway," Dedan muttered, and began rubbing himself through this pants. He hadn't jacked off in a while, and the cloth's rough texture against his fattening cock was sharply, almost painfully pleasurable. Stifling a moan—he didn't know how much Enoch could hear from inside his belly and wasn't about to risk finding out the hard way—he opened his legs, spread one large hand over his package and gave a long, torturously slow squeeze.

As luck would have it, Enoch chose that exact instant to make his reappearance, poking his head out between Dedan's parted teeth and greeting him with a friendly wave.

"How'd you—?!" Dedan began, then broke off as he realized how ridiculous he sounded trying to talk with his mouth full, tongue lolling uselessly out one side.

"I have my ways," replied Enoch breezily as Dedan lifted him out of his mouth, pinched lightly between his thumb and forefinger. "See, didn't I say you could trust me?"

The words tumbled out before Dedan could stop them. "Can I do it again?"

Enoch blinked up at him. "Do what?"

Dedan rubbed his temple with his spare fingers, unable to meet the other guardian's gaze. "You know," he mumbled, then trying to sound more assertive and not having much success, told Enoch, "Let me eat you again."

"Eh? You really want to—" At that point Enoch must've taken in the toothy guardian's sheepish expression, because an impish grin lit up his face. "Ohhh. _I_ see what's going on. Well, don't let me interrupt." To his credit, he didn't drag out the teasing, simply wriggled free of Dedan's grip and hopped back in his mouth. "See you in five minutes," he said cheerfully, then once more slid down Dedan's gullet with the help of a gush of saliva.

"Five minutes?" huffed Dedan once he'd swallowed, indignant even though he knew it was true. He might not fully understand this newfound kink—hell, he didn't understand a good ninety percent of the shit he was into—but his dick had never been all that concerned about logic, and when he practically ripped open his fly to stroke himself with renewed gusto, it was clear from his leaking, raging hard-on just how close he already was.

"_Fuck,"_ he gasped as he beat off, fingers wonderfully slick with his own clear fluid. With his free hand he groped around for the box of tissues he usually kept on his desk but found it empty. Grunting out a steady stream of expletives, he jumped down from his perch and, still fapping frantically, spent the next couple of minutes lurching around his office for a place to blow his wad.

_The trash, _he thought desperately, but remembered too late how he'd kicked it over in a fit of frustration. That was about the time he officially stopped giving a shit whether he'd make a mess. With a deep groan he slumped to his knees, helpless to do anything but aim his cock downward as his heavy balls tightened and his warm seed pulsed out in long white ribbons, splattering the metal floor tiles.

He was still crouched in the same position, panting and beaded with sweat, when Enoch leaped out of his mouth and shifted back to his normal size.

"You get it now, don't you?" he said, looking Dedan up and down with obvious satisfaction.

"Uh…" Shamefaced, Dedan staggered to his feet and tugged up his pants.

Enoch laughed good-naturedly. "Oh, come now, you know _I'm_ in no position to judge."

"Good point," the other guardian replied, feeling more at ease. "Shit, though, what a couple of kinky bastards."

His friend gave him a hearty slap on his bare back. "Well, there are much worse things to be. Now what say we get on with the inspection?"

Dedan grinned gratefully. "Sounds like a plan."


	5. 5

Enoch stared down at Dedan's paper with dull surprise, hardly registering his friend's triumphant crowing.

"I _told_ you! I so fucking _told_ you but nooo, you think you're the world's leading expert on sugar just 'cause you sit around stuffing your fat face with it all day long. _Ha!_ Too bad for you I do extensive research on everything my zone imports, ain't it?!"

Still not quite able to make himself believe he'd lost, Enoch compared their papers yet again. Sure enough, the other guardian had managed to remember the names of more monosaccharide sugars within the thirty-second time limit—and as if to add insult to injury, he'd beaten Enoch by a full three points.

"Well, you win fair and square," said the big guardian reluctantly. "I have to hand it to you, I'm impressed."

"And now you're mine for the day. Right?"

_No one,_ decided Enoch, _has ever had a shit-eating grin quite like yours. _"That was the agreement," he replied with a resigned shrug.

"Great," said Dedan, plopping back down in his seat next to Enoch's desk. "You can start by giving me a nice, deep massage. A _real _one, none of that half-assed stuff like you pulled last night!"

"You woke me up at four a.m.," Enoch muttered, but true to his word he spun Dedan around in the chair and set to work.

"Mm. That's it," said the smaller guardian as Enoch's strong thumbs pressed into his shoulders, steadily kneading the tension from his overworked muscles. "Keep this up and I'll consider returning the favor."

Enoch didn't know if he particularly cared for the idea of those bony fingers digging into him, but then it wasn't as if he had much choice in the matter; not until midnight, anyway. Obediently he began to work his way down Dedan's back, easing the knots out of the muscles on either side of his spine.

"Ah…!" Abruptly Dedan arched into his friend's touch. "_Fffuck_ yeah, right there…"

Oh dear. The big guardian had to wonder whether the innuendo was intentional. One thing was for certain, however: If Dedan noticed the effect he was having on his friend, the toothy guardian would take full advantage of it.

_Not that I'd mind all that much after a hard day's work, _Enoch thought wryly.

"All right, that's good enough," said Dedan at length. Standing, he gave his limbs an invigorating stretch. "Now it's _my_ turn."

Enoch wasn't sure he liked the way he'd said that.

"Get on the floor," Dedan ordered. "On your back."

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

"Hey, who's in charge here?!"

"But I—" Dedan cut Enoch off with something comically close to a pout, and the big guardian sighed, mumbling, "You are."

"And don't you forget it, sweet cheeks. Well, hop to it!"

Feeling acutely self-conscious, Enoch sprawled on the cold steel of his office floor, exposing his immense belly to the other guardian.

"Good," murmured Dedan. He knelt down and gave his friend a light scratch behind the ear.

Enoch couldn't help but chuckle. "You're acting like I'm a puppy who's just learned a new trick. …Er. _Why_ are you looking at me like that?"

Uh oh. Mr. Shit-eating Grin was back in full force. "Don't play dumb. Whoever won, you and I both knew the direction this was gonna take from the moment we made that bet."

Enoch opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a faint gasp as Dedan spread his wide hands over the big guardian and proceeded to give him an energetic belly rub. The fact that it felt amazing—his voluminous rolls of fat had always been quite sensitive to gentle touching—just made his cheeks blaze with shame all the more strongly.

Furthermore, his gut wasn't the _only_ part of him reacting favorably to Dedan's bizarre treatment, and even if the other guardian hadn't noticed yet, it was only a matter of time. He forced back a moan, deep in his chest; at this point he could only hope Dedan happened to be in a generous mood today.

"What a _good_ boy," his masseur cooed mockingly, "not giving me any trouble. I think this calls for a reward, don't you?" As Enoch looked away in a vain attempt to conceal his tomato-red cheeks, Dedan clambered up his stomach and tore open his white dress shirt, sending buttons shooting in all directions. Cackling, he resumed his massage on Enoch's bare belly, groping every inch of pale skin he could reach.

"Jesus, I can't believe you're getting turned on by this," he said. He gave one of Enoch's love handles a rough squeeze and sneered when the big guardian couldn't hold back a surprised little yelp. "You always pick on _me_ for bein' perpetually horny, but you're no better, are ya? Look at you!" Another teasing squeeze; another uncharacteristic, embarrassing whimper. "You're more than big and strong enough to stop this at any time—hell, you could pin me down and have your way with me on a daily basis and there wouldn't be a damn thing I could do about it! And yet you just lie here and take it while your dick gets harder and harder."

Dedan leaned in until their faces were just inches apart, and his voice dropped to a husky murmur. "Go on. Touch yourself. I know you want to."

As Enoch reached tentatively for his zipper, his friend added with a sly smirk, "Better stick a couple fingers in your ass while you're at it."

Well, not much to do but get it over with. Cheeks so hot one could have fried an egg on them, Enoch hefted his leaking cock in one hand and slid the fingers of the other down his crack. He'd never played with his ass before and wasn't sure what to expect as he pushed the first dry digit inside. It burned slightly, but as he pulled back out a gratifying tingle radiated throughout his lower body, and he found himself itching for more. Biting his lip to hold back the worst of the moans, he pressed in two fingertips this time, fucking himself as he began to beat off. Dedan grunted his approval and went back to work on Enoch's vast belly.

Between this newfound source of self-stimulation and his friend's teasing, Enoch was done for in a matter of minutes, his entire body shuddering with the unusual strength of his climax. To his amusement, a couple of wayward strings of semen smacked Dedan in the back of the head.

"God_damn_!" the smaller guardian squawked as Enoch's hot seed dripped from his shoulders in globs and pooled thickly around his knees. "Next time aim that shit _away_ from people's heads. Talk about inconsiderate!"

"Next time?" inquired Enoch. Lazily he dragged the underside of one finger between Dedan's thighs, earning a grunt of delight from his little friend. "Surely we're not done yet? You have until midnight to boss me around, remember."

"Actually…" Dedan scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "This was fun and all, but y'know… I kinda miss our usual style."

Laughing, Enoch rubbed the other guardian's shoulder with the same fingertip. "I understand, don't worry," he said. "Being a bottom definitely has its perks."


	6. 6

**_((Warning for soft vore, but otherwise work-safe.))_**

* * *

The office door wasn't locked, so Dedan let himself in. "Yo Enoch, how's—"

"Ah, can you give me a minute?" Enoch leaned forward in his desk chair and tapped his throat. "Sorry, guys. Time to come out."

As Dedan watched, bewildered, the big guardian coughed up half a dozen Elsens into his hand. The tiny workers gave a disappointed chorus of _"Awwww"_s as he set them on the floor and patted their backs to send them on their way. "We'll have more quiet time tomorrow, dears," he promised.

When they'd gone, Dedan turned back to Enoch. "Okay, I think I speak for most reasonably normal people when I ask: What the _fuck_?"

Enoch tapped his throat again. "I decided to develop a crop, that's all. Japhet gave me the idea."

"_Decided_? The hell? You can't just _decide_ to have a body part."

The big guardian shrugged. "Seems to be working out pretty well so far. I can make my body do plenty of strange things."

"So, what, you go around temporarily eating Elsens for fun? And they _like_ it?"

Shit. There was Enoch's "I'm up to something" grin. "Mmm, it doesn't have to be just Elsens," he replied casually.

"Wha—" Dedan's eyes popped wide open as Enoch's meaning registered with him. "No. _Hell_ no. Don't look at me like that, shitlord! I swear to God, if you so much as get up from—"

Enoch pushed away from his desk and stood. There was a mischievous glint in his eye.

Alarmed, Dedan backed up several paces. He held up his hands. "Look, man, inside-the-mouth stuff is fine but I thought we'd established that actually swallowing me just ends in general nastiness for the both of us."

"Come now, Dedan, don't knock it 'til you've tried it." The giant took a single, deliberate step forward, and Dedan felt its colossal weight rumble in his very marrow.

"You'd better sit your ass back down if you know what's good for ya!" Another bone-rattling _THUD_. Dedan held his ground but couldn't stop his voice jumping an octave. "I-I'm not kidding!"

"Neither am I," Enoch said, and he broke into a run, arms outstretched as if seeking a hug.

Screeching, the smaller guardian spun around and hauled ass. It was like fleeing a living earthquake—each of Enoch's footsteps shook the ground with such force that Dedan panicked he'd be knocked over any second. He was slowed down even further when he reached the hallway and had to evade huge vats of orange liquid plastic.

Enoch was much faster than anything his size had a right to be. Already the big guardian's cackle sounded like a roll of thunder directly above Dedan's head. _"FUCK!"_ he shrieked when enormous fingertips snagged the back of his coat, halting him mid-stride, and lifted him effortlessly. Peppering the air with curses, he took a few fruitless swipes at his captor's fingers.

Enoch sat Dedan on the flat of his hand. "Oh, I'm just messing with you. Surely you know by now I'd never eat you without permission."

"_Do_ I know that? _Do_ I?" Dedan crossed his arms, scowling up at him. "You're a cheating dick, by the way. At this size you can just step over stuff that I have to dodge around."

"Heh. Fair enough. I'll keep that in mind for next time. However—" Enoch's gaze swept over him as if sizing up an appetizing morsel "—the fact remains that I won."

Dedan flinched. "I already said no!"

"I know, I know. And like I said, I won't force it on you." Dedan cried out as Enoch held him up to his face, but the big guy just pressed him flat on his back with a smooch.

The smaller guardian grumbled and gave Enoch's face a halfhearted shove, feeling obligated as always to assert just how anti-mushy-stuff and manly he was—though admittedly the way Dedan melted under his friend's affection did tend to cost his effort some of its impact.

This time was no different. Dedan gave in quickly enough and could only hope his sharp intake of breath with each kiss was too quiet for Enoch to detect. _Uh oh. I'm on the highway to Bonerville. Better ditch the car while I still have a chance. _

"All right, keep your pants on," he growled, trying to wriggle free of the kissyface action. Fortunately Enoch backed off without complaint. The dreamy look on the big guy's face made Dedan feel a twinge of guilt.

"Look," he said after a pause, "if you don't bring me back up the second I tell you to I swear to God I'll eat you from the inside out."

Enoch looked taken aback. "You changed your mind?"

Dedan shrugged, doing his best to give off an air of nonchalance. "Sure, why the hell not. I mean, how bad could it be if Elsens don't mind it?"

Enoch _hmph_ed in amusement. "True. Elsens are about as pitiful as it gets, bless their little hearts."

After further reassurance of Dedan's willingness, he cautiously placed his friend on the back of his tongue. Dedan peered down that dark, cavernous throat and had to remind himself that everything would be under his control this time.

"Well?" he called up to Enoch. "You have a very nice-looking throat and all but that ain't what I'm here for."

In reply Enoch's tongue bucked beneath him, knocking him down that monstrous gullet. All his muscles tensed reflexively, desperate to struggle against the powerful wet constrictions of Enoch's esophagus that pummeled and jerked him down, down into infinite, terrifying blackness—then with one final jerk and a surprisingly gentle fall, Dedan arrived in the crop.

"Oh," he whispered.

Enoch hadn't been exaggerating about the strange things he could make his body do, for this crop was no ordinary food storage pouch. A faint glow, as if from bioluminescent cells lining the fleshy walls, revealed a space about the size of his bedroom back in Alma, and his claustrophobia dispersed like mist in warm sunlight. Even the pleasantly warm air seemed fresh.

He pressed his cheek against the smooth, fleshy wall; it pulsed gently in time with Enoch's heartbeat. No wonder Elsens liked it in here, he thought, so quiet save for the occasional soft grumble of Enoch's innards far below. On top of that he couldn't help feeling protected, surrounded as he was by his vast, powerful, almost godlike friend.

Thoughts wandering, Dedan hardly noticed how heavy his eyelids were becoming, and soon the rhythms of Enoch's body had soothed him to sleep.

* * *

"So how was it?"

Dedan sat up in Enoch's hand, flinging threads of saliva off his sleeves. "It was… nice," he admitted grudgingly. "I mighta dozed off for a minute or two."

The big guardian chuckled. "More like an hour or two. That comfy, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't flatter yourself," said Dedan, but he was unable to keep the hint of a smile out of his voice.

"You're welcome anytime." Enoch sounded more serious now. "If you ever need to just get away from it all for a while. I understand, believe me."

Dedan raised an eyebrow. "You're offering to eat me to make me feel _better_?"

His friend suddenly looked uncertain. "Well, I just wanted to throw it out there in case—"

The smaller guardian silenced him with an upraised hand. "Hey, hey. I didn't say no, did I? It's unusual is all. Nothing wrong with that, right?"

Enoch's smile filled him with warmth to the very tips of his toes.


	7. 7

**_((This one's completely work-safe.))_**

* * *

"Closer… c'mon… cloooser…"

Enoch was making his unhurried way up the stairs to Dedan's office. Little did he know that his friend had plans for a rather _unconventional_ start to their meeting. Dedan took another furtive peek around the corner. _Aaany second now... THERE!_

"A_ha_!" he hollered, barreling into Enoch at full speed in an attempt to knock him over.

It was like crashing face-first into a brick wall. Enoch watched, bewildered, as he collapsed to the stair landing with a flurry of agonized expletives. "Er… is this some kind of traditional Zone 1 greeting?"

"You may have won the battle, but the—oh _fuck_, my head—but the war's all mine!" Dedan leapt to his feet, staggering a bit but still raring to go.

"War? I'm not sure what you aha_HAHA OH GOD_!"

"This is for yesterday, you ass!" Dedan crowed, burying his fingers deep into Enoch's ticklish fat rolls. Already he had the big guy on his back begging for mercy, but after the way he'd held Dedan down and tickled him until his lungs hurt from laughter the toothy guardian couldn't say he was in a merciful mood.

Once he'd tortured Enoch to his satisfaction, he crossed his legs and stretched as if his friend were a comfy piece of furniture. "Ahhh, sweet revenge."

Below him Enoch was still catching his breath, but his tone was smug as he told Dedan, "I hope it was worth _this_."

Dedan yelped as he rolled over with startling speed and sent the smaller guardian flying. Before he hit the ground Enoch caught him neatly in one fist, pinning his arms to his sides.

"God_dam_mit!" Dedan writhed and kicked in his grasp. "There should be some kinda rule against that move!"

"All's fair in love and war," said Enoch wickedly. He loosened his grip enough to pinch Dedan's hands together above his head, then yanked off his captive's coat by the sleeves.

Alarm pulsed through him as Enoch eyed his naked torso hungrily. "Whoa there, buddy. Can't we talk about this?"

"No, but feel free to scream." Enoch bent down his head and started to blow noisy raspberries on Dedan's belly.

And scream he did, at a pitch and volume that made his throat smart and would most likely leave him hoarse later. "Uncle! Fuckin' _uncle_ already, you dick!" he screeched between outbursts of laughter. Not letting up on the punishment, Enoch joined in with his own deep, booming laugh.

After some squirming Dedan managed to free one of his arms, and he socked Enoch in the cheek purely by reflex. To his horror the resulting _CRACK_ echoed throughout the hall.

"Shit. Shit. That wasn't supposed to be an actual punch. Oh my God, I'm sorry."

Enoch didn't look particularly distressed. He touched his cheek thoughtfully. "Wow. I actually felt that. Not bad, Dedan."

"Does it hurt?" Dedan demanded. It had certainly hurt _him_; those knuckles were gonna need ice. "Fuck, I didn't mean to—"

Enoch covered his friend's mouth with a fingertip. "Shhh. I'm fine." He smiled as Dedan sagged into his hand with relief. "Your concern is rather adorable, though."

Usually the implication that he might've had a softer side made him bristle, but this time he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed. "You can get me back if you want," he grumbled, cheeks warm.

"I have a better idea." Enoch pressed his friend to his face. "Hug?"

_Leave it to you to come up with lovey-dovey solutions to everything, _Dedan thought, but his heart leaped.

"Fine," he said, spreading his arms across Enoch's face. Something was missing, he decided, so he nuzzled the spot where he'd decked him like an idiot. The big guy hummed in surprise.

"What happens on these stairs _stays_ on these stairs," Dedan said, but his heart obviously wasn't in the warning. He could feel Enoch's grin grow against him as his surprise gave way to delight.


	8. 8

It was an average day in Zone 3. Most Elsens were going about their work in the sugar refineries with their characteristic diligence. Others were on break in the cafeteria. Still others had tied up a half-naked Dedan as per his request and left him on Enoch's desk. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But when Enoch arrived he hardly seemed to notice the little gift that had been laid out for him. Sighing, he slumped into his chair and fished a fat stack of paperwork from one of his drawers.

"Yo, Enoch. You _do_ see the guy trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey on your desk, right?"

The big guardian finally spoke up as he reached for his pen. "Can you come back later? I'm not really in the mood."

_Enoch not in the mood for a quickie? Something ain't right here. I must be misunderstanding. _"Well, seeing as I'm kinda tied up and helpless here, you could hypothetically do anything you wanted to me. Anything. Aaanything at all. Just sayin'."

Enoch appeared to consider this. "Anything?"

Dedan flashed him a winning grin. "Aaanything."

Enoch shrugged. "Okay." He picked Dedan up, untied him, set him outside the office and closed the door.

"You fuckin' knew what I meant by "anything", smartass!" Dedan yelled. His hand shot out for the doorknob, then he thought better of it. What the hell had the big guy so down in the dumps, anyway? Usually he was all smiles.

_And I'll get a smile outta him before the day's done, _he vowed.

* * *

Hours later, Dedan and several Elsens wheeled a trolley holding a massive, freshly-baked cake into Enoch's office. It was Devil's food, overflowing with rich, fragrant chocolate icing and perfect in every way—Dedan had seen to _that_, breathing down the baker Elsens' necks as if daring them to offer up anything short of their best efforts.

Enoch glanced up from his paperwork. "A cake?" he asked dully.

Dedan jerked his head toward the door. _"Get,"_ he muttered to the Elsens, who were only too happy to escape the snappish guardian. He turned back to Enoch. "It's Devil's food," he explained. "All for you. Your _favorite_," he added when even this last didn't appear to have much effect.

"Oh… how thoughtful. Thank you." Enoch stood and clumped over to pick it up.

_Not even excited for his favorite dessert?! Shit, what now? _Thinking furiously, Dedan hopped onto Enoch's shoulder as he stooped down. He wasn't going to give up now, dammit!

"You've been workin' way too hard, buddy. Don'tcha think you deserve a break?" As Enoch made his listless way back to his desk, Dedan leaned forward and caught his eye as if trying to make him literally see his point. "Hell, it's not like you even have to eat the cake right this second. Just take a few minutes to sit back and _FUCK_!"

In his desperation Dedan had let his guard down and leaned a _little_ too far forward; he tumbled head over heels down Enoch's chest and landed spread-eagled right in the middle of the cake.

"_Son_ of a _motherfucking_—" He squawked an impressive string of expletives with disbelief, yanking his head free of the still-warm frosting's gloppy tug. "Shit, Enoch, I'm sorry—"

Enoch had stopped walking. Dedan looked up at him, and his expression was hungry in more ways than one.

"I believe," he said in a low voice, "I'll have my cake right now after all."

_Ohhh shit._

Dedan felt a blunt _thud_ pass through the cake as Enoch set it on the desk. Before he could wriggle free of the sticky icing on his own, enormous fingers descended upon him and plucked him up easily, as if the other guardian were a god accepting a live sacrifice laid out for him by his cowering worshipers.

"What're you—ah, _fffuck_," Dedan whimpered as his friend's tongue doused him with scalding saliva from head to foot, the tip curling around each of his limbs in turn, unhurriedly cleaning every inch of him of even the most miniscule trace of chocolate frosting.

Oh, Enoch was smiling now.

_Mission accomplished, _the rational part of Dedan's brain noted before it was completely overshadowed by the part of his brain that wanted to hump everything with a pulse.

More to the point, there was still quite a bit of cake to go.


	9. 9

Dedan's brain was a fucking asshole. These days it seemed to delight in coming up with increasingly confusing, mortifying excuses to heave open the floodgates on the blood supply to his dick.

But _this_—_this_ had to be the worst yet. So naturally, that primitive see-a-thing-hump-a-thing part of his mind would not shut the everliving fuck up about it.

"You called, sir?" asked a small voice in the doorway, jerking the guardian back to reality. His head snapped up.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" he snapped. "Getcher ass in here."

Looking distinctly unhappy with the idea, the Elsen obeyed. Dedan hoisted him onto his lap none too gently. Trying not to think too hard about what he was doing and why, he untucked his little employee's shirt with a yank and groped his exposed skin.

"Why do you have to be so damn _bony_?" The Elsen yelped as Dedan pinched impatiently at his sides. "You call this fat? Jesus, no wonder you people keel over at the drop of a hat. There's nothing there to keep you going!"

"Sorry," the Elsen whimpered. He couldn't possibly know Dedan's secret, but Dedan supposed it was only logical to apologize to a big muscular guy with teeth for a face who was pissed at you, even if you had no idea why.

The guardian rolled his eyes and shoved the Elsen off his lap. The worker faceplanted loudly on the purple steel tiles.

"Eat a sandwich, ya twig," Dedan growled. "In fact, tell everyone to take an extra serving of meat at lunch break until further notice. I'm sick of lookin' atcher skinny asses."

The Elsen stumbled to his feet, wide-eyed. "Is that really okay, sir?"

"No, I just said that for the hell of it. Go away and don't come back 'til you actually have something to pinch. The more the better!"

"But sir, I don't understand—"

Dedan's face tingled with an incipient blush as he cut the Elsen off. "And you don't _need_ to understand. I'm the boss and you follow orders, you clod."

He shooed the befuddled worker out the door, nipping any further awkward questions in the bud, and collapsed back in his seat.

_Can Elsens even get fat?_ he wondered. Come to think of it, he couldn't recall ever seeing one that wasn't pitifully scrawny. And it wasn't as if they didn't get enough to eat.

That left him only one option—and naturally it was also the most embarrassing one possible, much as it made his stupid dick hanker for a horizontal happy dance.

But he guessed the writing was on the wall. All he could do was hope that Enoch wouldn't poke fun at him until he just wanted to vanish from this plane of existence.

* * *

"This is awfully generous of you, Dedan."

"Well, no sense in letting the meat surplus go to waste, right?"

"I suppose not." Enoch dabbed the corner of his mouth with his napkin. "Heh. Funny, though—you never struck me as the type to enjoy a nice, quiet lunch with a friend. No sex or violence whatsoever."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dedan grumbled, eyes fixed on the door of Enoch's private lounge. He'd hardly touched his own steak, tantalizing as it smelled.

"Kidding!" Enoch reached around the table and patted his shoulder. "This really is nice, though. We should do it more often."

_Yeah, yeah, just shut up and stuff your face. _

The meal continued in silence—companionable from Enoch's end, awkward from Dedan's, though the bigger guardian was too preoccupied with his food to take any notice.

Finally Enoch finished the last of his steak, washing it down with a splash of sweet tea. To Dedan's surprise, he showed no interest in the mostly-untouched food on his friend's plate. _All the better; it means he's already full._

"You want this? I'm not gonna eat it." He pushed it across the table to Enoch.

"Mm, well… I guess it can't hurt." Despite his satiation, Enoch devoured in seconds what would have taken a ravenous Dedan at least five minutes to plow through. He covered his mouth to stifle a burp.

"Oof," he grunted. "Maybe that wasn't such a great idea." He pushed his chair back just enough to rest his distended belly on the table. "Not entirely polite, I know, but I hope you'll forgive me. It was beginning to get terribly cramped under there."

"I don't… mind…" Dedan gawked at his friend's gut, bloated to a girth that was impressive even for him. It overflowed like rising dough from beneath his white dress shirt, which must have come untucked under the pressure.

And God help him, he wanted Enoch to press him down under all that weight and fuck him so hard he walked funny for a week.

Though he'd gradually opened up to Enoch in their time together as fuckbuddies, this was one kink Dedan wasn't quite ready to admit to having, but he also wasn't too proud to go for the next best thing.

He coughed. "That looks kinda painful. Anything I can do?"

"Oh, would you? I'd be grateful if you'd just give me a quick rub." Enoch demonstrated on his swollen belly.

_Oh, _fuck_ yes._ Dedan could've whimpered with gratitude at how easy the big guy was making this for him.

He leaped onto the table and dodged around stacks of empty plates, praying to whatever god would listen that he didn't look as thrilled as he felt.

That first flat-palmed touch to Enoch's great, cushy belly was nearly orgasmic in itself. Enoch sighed with pleasure, unaware of the reverence with which his little friend took handfuls of his generous rolls of fat.

This, thought Dedan, was power made flesh. Enoch never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from. Hell, _you_ were his next meal if he happened to be in that sort of mood. And good luck trying to fight him off; all that extra padding made him damn near invincible.

He was scary. Holy _shit_, was he scary.

As he kneaded Enoch's vast stomach—damn near _worshiped_ it—he was all too conscious of his swelling erection, the heavy swing of his full balls, aching to squeeze one out.

Suddenly Enoch's palm was at his back, pressing him carefully but firmly into that squashy wall of belly, and Dedan very nearly came then and there.

"So nice," Enoch murmured. "You're wonderful at this."

"Maybe we should make it a regular thing," said Dedan, almost sagging with relief that his arousal had thus far gone unnoticed. You'd think Enoch would feel it pressing into him, but Dedan supposed his mind was elsewhere at the moment.

The two worked in concert to ease the tension from Enoch's overstuffed belly; Dedan with his wide hands, Enoch by rubbing the smaller guardian's body here and there. Dedan doubted his friend intended the added humiliation of being used as his personal massage roller, but it burned in his face and steel-hard cock all the same.

Enoch hooked a finger between his legs for a better grip, and the unexpected surge of pressure zapped Dedan's horny-animal brain to mush. Fuck dignity—he was on the cusp of the best orgasm he'd had in weeks. With a hoarse cry, he thrust his clothed boner against Enoch's finger.

"Dedan…? Uh… wow. You're enjoying this even more than I am."

"You fuckin' know it," Dedan panted, not slowing down. "Goddammit, you giant oblivious fuck… _nngh_… don't you have any idea how much I want you to fuck the shit outta me 'til you can't shoot another load?"

Enoch blinked down at him, bewildered. "Don't we do that all the time?"

"It's your _weight_, stupid! God, I wish you'd just… hold me down and…!" Swearing like it was going out of style, Dedan buried his face in the bulge of Enoch's love handle and creamed his pants so hard you'd have thought from the swiftly spreading stain he was pissing himself.

"My _weight_?" Enoch said, taking Dedan's wanton horniness in stride.

"That's what I said," he replied gruffly, jumping down from his seat on Enoch's finger. He shrugged off his coat, tied it around the soiled part of his pants, and plopped down on the table.

Enoch shook his head wonderingly. "And here I always thought you liked me in _spite_ of my fat ass."

"Yeah, well, I used to be a dumbass, in case you didn't notice. Okay, _more_ of a dumbass."

Dedan barely had time to take another breath before he was being smothered in a bear hug.

"That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me." Enoch paused, then lowered his voice playfully. "I'll remember it the next time you're impaled on my dick."

Dedan hid his face in his friend's chest. "Shit, dude, you're not allowed to talk like that! It ain't right comin' from you."

A deep chuckle rumbled against him. "You still have some odd hang-ups. It's going to be _such_ fun destroying them."

Dedan snorted, but privately he supposed that his chances were pretty decent when he had a friend like Enoch.


End file.
